Drifting

I am afraid, my love
I am shaking, ghosts, shadows,
So many pains I can't name...
Are you here with me?
My love, I am not well.
Remind me, remind me please,
How my cries do reach you
How you are near to me
How I can make a joyful noise...
A song beyond this suffocation
Past these hands that bind my lips, clutch me by the neck
Stronger than this escaping breath, these empty lungs
     the collapsing void of my heart.

I am afraid, that I will never change,
I tremble to know this monster who stares at me
     through a mirror,
     through the window
     through my eyes
I am afraid, I am frozen, I am dying
Will my help ever come, will my life be lived
     and not survived?
Ever will ever be here, now, this moment?

I wish I wasn't afraid of my dreams!
I wish I weren't devouered by despair!
You have given me good things
You have loved me, you love me
Protect me... I am afraid
The nightmares keep coming, in living breathing days
     with skeletons and flesh
This cage keeps closing in...
Will we, can we run in fresh flower fields of spring
You promised and I was not muddled
The word was not an illusion... wake me, shake me
Gently as you do, lift me from this mire
Kiss me with your grace and love
For I feel myself drifting, disintegrating
I want to run with you again,
Can I trust you, help me trust you