02.05.15 Was a Nice Number I Missed That One...

My titles are always pointless, ha, I am not good at titling things. Anyway, here's a poem... I've been working on other things to post but they all seem too scattered to be coherent or even worth reading thus... as my days have been heavy emotionally here is a poem... Maybe tight words are easier than loose, and numerous ones.

Fear running in the depths beyond
Anxiety, nerves... I ponder
My past, my present, systems of prison leak through yet entrusting the days to come
Instilling, instigating, inhaling in waiting for
Love, as I was always dreaming
Yoked with a burden that is easy, light, love-to-give is in me
Freely living, growing, breathing
Ardent, adamant adoring
Mingling with pus and scars, the water creeps through the xylem
Initially, I did not intend to investigate yet
Longing is there, the longing breaths and callouses tremble
Yet another aurora dazzles the line where earth meets heaven
Fragile retinas cannot recognize the signal
Afar from pain, blinking, squinting... the Golgotha splits
My heart races, "Come out!"
Is this real? Such deep slumber, I knew well, seeped into my core
Leaving a shell of illusions, delusions, lies
Yearning to die, shed shame, molt mortality...
Freedom came in a new mercy
Alone no longer, coincided, sisters, brother, father
Mother...
Is this alright? Scared beyond compare -- I step
Lively, yet shaken and broken, all the pieces
Yesterday... today... yesterday... today... ...
Falling apart, it's okay, try to keep it together, can I go
Another step as all of me bleeds, I'm afraid I will
Make things worse than yesterday's
Illness and only add to pain in the world.
Love is given and grace received
Young and old, weakness and strength every eye, every toe untied

Along the way,
Leave no
Parts forgotten...
Hold on and listen for the cries
As orphans become daughters and sons

One heart, submitting to incarnated love
Moving together
Eagerly the parts join
Gather and
Adorn yourself in beauty